STORIES OF HOPE
From domestic violence shelter to homeowner. Mercy’s Story.
“Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs.”
Isaiah 61:7, NKJV
Weighed down by the trauma of an abusive environment and motivated by concern for her infant’s safety, Mercy began searching for the hope she desperately needed. She was living in a domestic violence shelter, but she needed a steadier, more peaceful atmosphere where she could begin the healing process and provide stability for her son, Finn.
After multiple rejection letters from programs for women in her situation, she had nowhere else to turn and expressed her anxiety to God.
“I was just like, God, I mean, if You want me to go back to that abusive situation, I will, but I really don’t want to, and I can’t see a way forward. I was employed, but not employed enough to make it on my own,” she said.
Prayers answered and a new journey begins
The next day, Mercy got her answer. The phone rang, and by divine appointment, The Gatehouse called and invited her to an interview.
“And that was the first time I felt seen,” she said. “A lot of times in the other interviews, I felt like they were looking past me. I know now that was probably God’s divine love guiding me on the path that I needed to be on, but I felt seen.”
Remembering their condition when they arrived at The Gatehouse in Grapevine, TX, Mercy said, “Wow, we were a hot mess. My counseling scores were not good. I was high on the depression, the anxiety, and especially the PTSD. We weren’t sleeping. My son was starting to have visits with his father, so there were a lot of behavior issues and concerns there.”
Despite the emotional chaos and some logistical challenges, like an uncooperative car, Mercy began the program and saw it through to the end. The first area she wanted to tackle was parenting.
Recalling when her Gatehouse parenting counselor asked her where she wanted to start, Mercy said, “I remember thinking, I’m at ground zero here. And I’ve been given the gift of time. I’ve been given the gift of two years. And so, I did something I wouldn’t have been able to do anywhere else because I knew I had that safety net and I had advisors. I said, ‘Let’s just start at the beginning.’”
Generational cycles broken
The step-by-step instruction was foundational for Mercy because her inspiration for this transformation was breaking a generational cycle of absentee parenting and substance abuse. Her single mother suffered a brain injury and was put in a home for intensive 24-hour care.
Mercy began couch surfing and finding employment that provided housing while working multiple jobs to put herself through college. At one point, she became homeless before the age of 20.
“I would tell my older sisters, ‘We’ve got to remake this family tree,’” she said. “I just didn’t know how, and I didn’t have the tools. So, I married — and I did not marry wisely or well, and that led to where Finn and I are.”
The counseling and parenting resources were most valuable to Mercy. She learned to process the trauma she experienced so she could clearly understand her relationship with Finn.
“I didn’t want to project onto my son anything that I had experienced. I wanted to be clear-thinking so I could raise him in a way different from how I had been raised,” she said.
As Finn began to thrive in play therapy and in The Gatehouse’s Legacy Early Learning Center, Mercy experienced growth in her identity and sense of self-worth.
“I started to like who I was for the first time,” she said. “And I started to like myself as a mother, which I can’t express enough.”
Wholeness in spirit, soul and body
Now that Mercy and Finn were safe, beginning to heal from trauma and enjoying a stable home life, she could build other skills on top of that solid foundation. Next, she began to focus on herself and became comfortable with the way she presented herself to the world.
“When I arrived, I did not have a lot of clothes,” she said. “I didn’t have clothes for interviews. I didn’t have clothes for church. I had not spent a lot of time thinking about me when I was thinking, How do I keep my son and me safe? How do I get through this next day?”
Through the guidance of mentors at The Gatehouse, Mercy learned how to dress for success.
“When I was at The Gatehouse, I was encouraged as part of my recovery to think about how I felt comfortable presenting myself to the world. And so, we talked about what colors looked good, hair, makeup, how to dress for court, which is a completely different ballgame, and how to dress for an interview.”
These necessary skills helped Mercy progress in her career, and along with legal counsel, helped her finalize her divorce so she could turn a new page in her life.
Dreams realized
Mercy also saw a radical transformation in her finances. She learned how to effectively manage her household budget and enjoyed the stability that brought to her life. As she neared graduation from the program, she began looking at apartments, but one day she realized she was financially stable enough to pursue the dream of homeownership. Mercy attended a Gatehouse seminar on real estate, and then she met with a real estate agent.
“I felt like a tumbleweed because my growing-up experience had been so tumultuous. We just kept moving. I mean, from state to state to state to state, and I never put down roots,” Mercy said. “As I healed in the program, I found the desire to put down roots.”
Mercy and Finn are putting down those roots in a lovely 1950s house in a great school district. Mercy can raise Finn peacefully in a home they call their own for the first time, surrounded by a support system of friends who care about them.
Mercy reflected on her time in the program, saying, “The Gatehouse for my son and me was a soul-changing, family-tree-altering experience … one that I believe has set us free from that generational cycle. I now feel able to take care of myself and my son independently. I know how to be healthy and how to get the psychological support we need. I know how to make good financial choices. Housing? We are safe, secure and stable.”
Words can’t express Mercy’s gratitude
“I don’t know how you could ever say thank you. I remember the first day I was shown the apartment, and it was furnished, and there was everything we could need, down to the toothbrush,” she said. “I just kept saying, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.’ And my advisor looked at me and said, ‘Don’t thank me; thank God.’ I wish I could say thank you to every person who worked here and helped our journey be a safe and successful one. To every person who donated, no matter how big or small, so my son and I could have a new beginning, thank you.”
A special memory sums up Mercy’s Gatehouse experience.
“There was this blue agate rock in my old home that was really beautiful, and it broke. The day I moved into The Gatehouse, there on the bookshelf was that same rock, only it was three times bigger and three times stronger. I felt like the Lord was saying to me, ‘This is what I’m going to do for you. I’m going to heal, redeem and restore all that has been broken and lost,’ and I have found that to be true here,” she said.
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